I’m not beautiful for a big girl! I’m JUST beautiful!

I guess I should start by telling you that I have always struggled with my weight since we moved from Canada to the US. I was 7 when we moved here and can remember it like it was yesterday! But, I was thin back then. Well “thin” is a relative term. I was not fat, heavy or large, I mean. I was an average 7 year old. Fast forward a few years and perhaps it was the stress of middle school or something else, but I gained weight! Now I am not short or petit, some even call me tall! I think I’m average for a female, I’m 5 ft 7 inches.

When I was in high school I played many sports. My brother, sister and I all played 2-3 sport per year, we come from a very athletic family. I started out the year playing tennis, then water polo and finished off my year with swim team. Mainly to condition for water polo season. I was good athlete, good at all of the sports I played. I played singles tennis and was quite competitive in doubles. I lettered four years in tennis, and was a starter on the varsity water polo team for four years and lettered in that as well. I also lettered on varsity swim three years and considered myself very active. Active I may have been… But definitely heavy! One time I remember ordering my skirt for tennis and it was so tight I couldn’t hardly breath! It was just awful. I was in the locker room alone trying to squeeze into it. Trying to convince myself a size 16 skirt fit. I would wear it unbuttoned and button it up when we got to our matches. How embarrassing. I just couldn’t bear telling my coach I needed a bigger size, since I was the biggest one on the team. That skirt hurt so badly and I can still remember what it felt like. Pinching my flab and cutting in on my stomach! Ouch, just terrible.

Now, think about water polo and swim team! I had to wear a bathing suit in front of tons and tons of people, everyday! But I was good and I could make shots from half tank (hence my nickname “half tank Marone”) so my weight was acceptable. I never had a date though. No one would ask me out or wanted me to be their girlfriend. I always thought something must be terrible wrong with me. I always turned to food help ease my pain!

It’s funny how looking back I never seemed to think I had a problem with eating and that I could control it. But I would eat a lot. I would eat secretly alone, when I was out babysitting and the kids had gone to bed, when people were there or not. Didn’t matter, that was my comfort.

So fast forward 14-15 years, and here I am! Proud wife and mother to a beautiful baby girl! Throughout the years I would lose weight and then gain and then try something new and then stop. I signed up for Weight Watchers online one night and started the next morning! Great success, I lost 50 lbs. I was 225 when I started and no one even knew I was that weight. People would always say “you carry it so well!” Thanks but no thanks! I wanted to be happy and healthy and here for a long time! I’ve tried it all… Jenny Craig, HCG, Vitamin B12 shots, eating one meal per day, Adkins, Diet Pills, Master Cleanse and on and on!

I was 190 lbs when I was first weighed by my doctor at my first prenatal visit. The day I delivered my sweet girl I weighed 259 lbs! A gain of 69 lbs! Yikes! Today, 11 and 1/2 months later, I sit here weighing 195! 5 lbs away from where I started. I was so hellbent on losing the weight within weeks or months of having her! Didn’t happen! Everyone told me “you will lose a ton of weight while breast feeding!” Nope, not me! But you know what I found that works? And this is going to BLOW your mind… Ready…….. Exercising and DIET! Wow! Who would have thought!

So why am I writing this? What does it matter that I lost weight? A friend of mine once said “it took 10 months to put on, don’t be so hard on yourself!” She was so right! You can do it! Who cares how long it takes! If I can… You most certainly can too! Believe in yourself. Love yourself just like God loves you! After all… He created us to be courageous, not lazy!

So get out there sexy mama! You are worth it!

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